“I’ve never really seen you, at anything, really try. But you do today,” writes Kevin McEnroe, who also details O’Neal’s 2020 stroke, which was caused by an overdose.

Tatum O’Neal’s son forgives actress for drug abuse during his childhood in emotional Mother’s Day essay

"I've never really seen you, at anything, really try. But you do today," writes Kevin McEnroe, who also details O'Neal's 2020 stroke, which was caused by an overdose.

By Wesley Stenzel

Wesley Stenzel

Wesley Stenzel is a news writer at **. He began writing for EW in 2022.

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May 9, 2026 2:30 p.m. ET

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Tatum O'Neal and her son Kevin McEnroe. Credit:

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- Tatum O'Neal's son Kevin McEnroe has written a candid, emotional essay for Mother's Day about his turbulent relationship with the actress.

- In it, McEnroe forgives O'Neal for her behavior in the throes of her drug addiction during his childhood.

- He also details the aftermath of his mom's 2020 stroke, which was caused by an overdose.

Kevin McEnroe has shared his candid reflections on his difficult relationship with his mother, Tatum O'Neal.

In an essay for The Small Bow ahead of Mother's Day, the son of the *Paper Moon* actress and professional tennis player John McEnroe details their complicated dynamic.

"I call you Tatum sometimes because you weren't always a mom, although when you were, you were at your best, and that's why you're still here today," he writes. "I call you Tatum because your name is Tatum, but also because it was a reminder that maybe, sometimes, I needed more, but that doesn't mean I'm going anywhere — I know me leaving has always made you scared."**

McEnroe goes on to explain how he differentiated between "Tatum" and "Mama," with the former being a less reliable figure who battled addiction.

"Today I can call you Mama, and I do. When I was little, you were my mom, until your boyfriend gave you heroin," he writes. "You were my mom when you were clean, between rehabs, but then sometimes you were Tatum, too. Tatum used to leave in the middle of the night and sometimes not come back before morning. Tatum didn't have a choice."

McEnroe continues, "I used to think Tatum took my mom away. Now I think Mom and Tatum just wanted something different. I think Mom and Tatum didn't always get along."

Tatum O'Neal in 2018.

David Livingston/Getty

The star's son later admits that when he was in recovery for his own addiction, the people around him encouraged him to keep his distance from his mother because she was "still using" drugs.

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He felt like he was "abandoning" O'Neal when he got sober. "I always knew you being my mother was keeping you alive, but Tatum kept growing inside you," he writes. "The bigger she got, the more I could only remember my mom."

McEnroe adds that he was afraid of setting hard boundaries with his mother because he worried she would take her own life if he didn't respond to her calls.

"Until one day I didn't answer and you did," McEnroe writes, referring to O'Neal's 2020 stroke, which was caused by an overdose. "You were in a coma for six weeks, Mom, and I was in treatment. When you woke up you couldn't talk, or walk, or remember. You couldn't read when you got out of the coma, but you started drinking again."

McEnroe recounts O'Neal suffering brain damage from the stroke and how she then "tried to escape from the memory care facility" and began drinking again, writing that he thought the terrifying incident would change his mother's behavior. "I hoped — we all hoped — that the brain damage the stroke caused might kill Tatum and just leave Mom, but it didn't," he writes. "Tatum has 99 lives."

John McEnroe and Tatum O'Neal in 1992.

Ron Galella, Ltd./Ron Galella Collection via Getty

Later in the essay, McEnroe commits to assisting his mother more than he has in the past.

"Today, taking care of you might actually help me," he writes, noting that he fears his own recovery efforts were too self-centered. "I spent too much of my life explaining myself and worrying about myself. I spent too much time justifying my behaviors and trying to be understood, always wondering what was wrong with me, and resenting you for not having a good answer. I never asked anybody how I could be helpful. I never asked you, Mom, how are you?"

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McEnroe then details a turning point in his mother's journey approximately 18 months ago, when she was "suicidal" and he "finally understood that I can't convince you to want to live." He recalls telling her, "Okay, mom. I love you. If you wanna try and stop, I think I can help you. But if you don't, I understand that, too."

In response, McEnroe recalls, his mother told him "to go f---" himself — but she got sober immediately after.

"You called me and I helped you," he writes. "You haven't had a drink since then, or a drug, and for that I'm proud of you. I've never really seen you, at anything, really try. But you do today. Sometimes I call you and you're busy and you don't have time for me. Somehow that feels less like Tatum and more like my mom."

McEnroe ends his essay with a moving meditation on forgiveness. "Because I empathize I can forgive," he writes. "I'll still help you, Tatum, because you're my mom. I forgive you, and you forgive me, and we forgive others, because we have to. Otherwise we'd both be dead."

He concludes, "I'm proud to be Tatum's son."

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